It’s been awhile since I have shared anything really heartfelt with you. A summer of workshops and prepping sacred plant essence medicine has kept me busy and not having much time for blog content.
But today, I think I have something worth sharing, so I’m taking the time to make that happen.
Emotional overwhelm.
Trying to stay present under pressure.
Ringing any bells?
Last week was a blizzard of challenges with a daughter and three grandchildren home to visit, a full client schedule, and a son in a scooter accident. Everything was put on hold as we pulled together as a family, and I dropped everything to help my son through surgery, and then recovery.
As we pulled through the toughest part I only fell apart once, in the hospital chapel, while my son went under the knife. And aside from being spacey from lack of sleep and edging ever so slightly away from the anxiety of it all, I was able to stay present with the stress and worry, instead of dissociating from it.
And more importantly, by staying present I was able to identify the old behaviors of trying to monitor and manage the emotional climate of the entire family.
This is in marked contrast to the me of the past. Dissociation has been my default for years. But apparently no more. These realizations, of the connections between old trauma and current behaviors, are what move us forward.
Thankfully, my work has paid off and I am staying present with my life, even the hard parts, more and more. We often don’t realize just how far we’ve come until life throws us a curve ball.
Healing happens so slowly and quietly, we don’t even notice that we are changing, until one day we wake up and realize that we haven’t gotten triggered, anxious, or desperate in a long time. And that we’re handling our feelings without needing to get away from them.
If you are struggling with that particular survivor challenge, remember, patience is the watch word here. Keep going and trust the process.You are progressing. Every day.
Watch for it and celebrate it.
Until next time,
Anne
P.S.: If you need help developing your ability to stay present, come talk to me about trauma recovery mentoring: www.annemarck.com/mentoring