We’ve talked a lot about how to start developing boundaries – creating safety in the body and a healthy sense of Self. But that’s the big stuff. And it takes time.
Maybe you’re wondering how you can get started now, perhaps feeling overwhelmed and not sure if you’re ever going to get it right. This is harder than you thought it would be.
Guess what? I’m there too. I’m still learning to make it okay to advocate for my own needs.
Healing is always a work in progress and boundaries are sometimes part of the end game. When all of the pieces have fallen into place and you’re finally feeling like a human being who deserves to be defended. But like I said, that takes time and you need to be there now.
You don’t have to wait for the end game to see results now.
Let me tell you how I started.
I’m the mom to seven kids (yup, seven!) and five grand kids. I’m a craniosacral therapist and herbalist, and since my family are very much into natural medicine, that makes me the first stop for help and advice before anybody goes to an M.D. Ask mom, she’ll know.
Then there’s the guru status. Seems they think I have all the answers.
And I seem to be everybody’s best friend and confidant. A lovely place to occupy, clearly I am loved and appreciated. But it can get a bit harried.
Oh, and one more thing. I work from home. So, technically I’m always available.
I’ve always tried to just take the calls and texts for advice in stride for the people I love. Until I realized that by taking them as they came in, I was getting practically nothing done. My tasks were being delayed and stalled because I was constantly distracted.
Something needed to be done and it wasn’t going to be comfortable.
I started by sending out a text to everyone. I was drawing my line in the sand. I would answer calls and texts before my work day, on my lunch break, and after my work day. Period.
That was actually the easy part.
I quickly discovered that the problem was not, in fact, all of my people and their calling and texting habits.
It was me.
I had to quickly develop the discipline to keep my own rules. And to quiet the little bursts of concern that came with every tinkle of the message reminder on my phone. No, there’s no emergency here. No, you don’t need to answer this now. No, there’s no catastrophe that needs your attention.
Yes, it’s a work in progress. But every day I get a little bit better at the discipline I need to carve out the space to do my work undisturbed. My work is important and I deserve that. So, unless something is burning, I’m not answering.
I’m holding myself to that line in the sand.
Draw your own line in the sand. Start with something small and doable. And begin developing the discipline to maintain it.
Everything else will flow from there.
Until next time,
Anne